“Break my heart for what breaks Yours; Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause; As I walk from nothing to eternity.” These are from the refrain of “Hosanna”, a song sung by Hillsong United. I wonder how many realize what these lyrics mean when they sing along with the song? In truth, I didn’t until I began to experience a deep grief that appeared to come from nowhere one day.
A few days ago, my heart broke again. I had been interceding for a mother and daughter for a while now and of late, things have turned for the worse. The news of an unsuccessful treatment that brought more harm than good brought along heartache, but it was these words that “broke” my heart… ”Although I know we both feel very unloved by God at times, I pray that He will see us both through this.”
My heart anguished for them, especially since the daughter is the same age as mine. My pleas before God became fervent. I begged for ways to give them hope; I begged for ways to show that He had never abandoned them. I begged for His words and for His ways because nothing of me could do anything, but I knew it was only He who had the wisdom and the power to accomplish anything. I begged and I begged because I wanted them to receive the same comfort and reassurance God gave me at my times of distress. 2 Cor 1:3
As I prayed and as I pleaded, my anguish appeared to grow deeper. I eventually realized that I was searching in the wrong place. Although I was praying, I was still searching for solutions and ways of the world. Romans 8:5-7 God had reminded me that the solution was in being transformed by the renewing of my mind. Romans 12:2 Finally, I sought solace and comfort in His word and God gave them to me…
Psalm 116 I love the Lord, because He hears my voice and my supplications. 2 Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death encompassed me and the terrors of Sheol came upon me; I found distress and sorrow. 4 Then I called upon the name of the Lord: “O Lord, I beseech You, save my life!”… 6 The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me.
7 Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. 8 For You have rescued my soul from death, My eyes from tears, My feet from stumbling. 9 I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
Psalm 118 – 8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. 9 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.
…13You pushed me violently so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me. 14 The Lord is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation…. 17I will not die, but live, and tell of the works of the Lord. 18 The Lord has disciplined me severely, but He has not given me over to death.”
That evening, as many praised and worshipped God during our time of Adoration, I wandered off to the first five Stations of the Cross along the Parish walls. I had just received a teaching on Simon of Cyrene, the one who helped Jesus carry His cross, and I knew God would communicate there. The cross Jesus carried weighed about 300 pounds (1.36 kg). It was not enough that Jesus was flogged with a leather whip with lead balls and sheep bones tied into leather thongs prior to carrying the cross, but the floggings continued while He carried it to its final destination.
To my surprise, the meaning of all these insights didn’t ring true until I shared them with the congregation. I sensed our Father say that He is aware of what each of us is going through. He knows that many times, our trials and tribulations feel like we are carrying a 300 pound cross and He is also aware of the added floggings we receive on top of that. He reminds us that He has sent other “Simons of Cyrene” to help us carry our cross through their prayers, kindness and compassion. But more importantly, He wants us to remember that Jesus is also there carrying the cross with us and He knows exactly what we are going through.
That wasn’t all… our Father wants to remind us not to focus on our problems. Just as those who ski adventurously among the trees, if we focus on the trees (our problems), we will definitely ski right into one. Instead, He invites us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. He calls us to rest and to be still before Him. Transformation doesn’t come immediately. It is a gradual process. As we sit and wait, we rest. As we delve into His word, we are “informed, conformed and then transformed”.
Father God, thank You for not leaving us orphaned. Although You are exalted and on high, You continue to care for the humble and the lowly. Although we walk in the midst of trouble, You revive us; You stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of those who persecute us, the wrath of our difficult circumstances and our diseases and Your right hand saves us. Thank You Father that You accomplish what concerns us. Your loving kindness, O Lord, is everlasting. Thank You that on the day I called, You answered me. You, alone, make me bold with strength in my soul. Psalm 138 In Jesus’ name we pray, AMEN.
Melissa – March 24, 2015